Power of Thunderbutt

So far you will only know me as an author for my Poos. Meet The Poo's and Peter Poo to the Rescue for those of you that didn't know of my work and were confused by my first statement! 

I am now working on a horror/comedy book for children called Power of Thunderbutt. I just felt the urge to tell you all about it in time for its release in 2014.

Please visit www.facebook.com/robrenee and like the page to keep updated on this and future work.

Here's the covers and blurb:
(all images are produced by me. Copyright (c) 2013)

First idea for cover artwork

Current idea for front cover

Current idea for rear cover

Imagine, if you will, a land inside your dreams, haunted by half human beings who exist only to trap you inside your own nightmare for eternity. Imagine also what you would be able to do with the Power of Thunderbutt should a wizard inside your dreams give it you. Using the force of the most powerful and potent flatulence known to man, you could rid your dreams of demons and live to dream another day! But what if your nightmare becomes a reality? Could the awake world handle almost nuclear farts where buildings shatter and people vomit at the stench?

Open these pages and read all about Daniel, who came to posses the Power of Thunderbutt through his own nightmare. Not only will you learn about the Punk Monkeys, Guffry the Wizard and how to defeat evil with carefully planned farts, but you will also discover the truth to a common misconception in the awake world. A myth that has plagued the minds of boys and men since the dawn of time. This story will offer 100% proof to the world that women DO fart!

If you are easily offended by flatulence, vomit, poo or reading about the effects on people that are allergic to poo particles, then this book is probably not for you... 
Open these pages and read all about Daniel, who came to posses the Power of Thunderbutt through his own nightmare. Not only will you learn about the Punk Monkeys, Guffry the Wizard and how to defeat evil with carefully planned farts, but you will also discover the truth to a common misconception in the awake world. A myth that has plagued the minds of boys and men since the dawn of time. This story will offer 100% proof to the world that women DO fart! 

If you are easily offended by flatulence, vomit, poo or reading about the effects on people that are allergic to poo particles, then this book is probably not for you... 

Anyone for Monopoly - no thanks!

Amazon has been the place for my eBook sales so far. I'm not a supporter of monopolies though. I don't only buy food in Asda. I don't only fill up with diesel at Esso. I don't only eat McVities Milk Chocolate Biscuits and I don't only wear Rolex watches. That's all true, every last word of it, apart from the bit about the biscuits... and I can't actually afford a Rolex. 

+Anthony Lavisher brought my attention to a place called Smashwords, and I had good talks about the difference between them and Amazon with +Debbie Bennett. At first I though it was nothing special, just another channel through which I could distribute my eBooks. After spending several days reading it through, following their guides and successfully publishing both Meet The Poo's and Peter Poo to the Rescue, I realise that they are, in my opinion, a far better option than Amazon. Just as my local, family run café offers a better service than McDonalds. Sometimes the smaller fish have more to prove and therefore offer more in the way of being helpful, offering you more choice and valuing your custom more. They may not be able to reach the spans of the Earth as easily as the 'big boys' but, if people realise there is a better service to be had elsewhere, one day they could be just as big, or even bigger. Does anyone remember there being a Wimpy where almost every McDonalds or Burger King now stands, or when Skoda cars and Doc Martin boots were the 'affordable' option?

Saying all that was for a good reason. Both of my books are currently available from Smashwords for $1.55, or £0.95 to my UK companions. You can also read my short biography and an interview with me. Although my 'slice of the pie' is less here than with Amazon (I am charging less and still donating to +Action for Children) I believe that they are more deserving of the business and the benefits will be recognised by authors and readers in the coming months and years.

If you would prefer to hold a copy of Meet The Poo's in your hand to read to your child I have found an offer today which I, as the author, cannot beat or even match! Go to Book Depository today to save 28% and get free delivery. I might even stock up on a few copies myself...

Don't forget the children!

I had a business meeting this morning in relation to my books. It went very well and I received a lot of praise for how much I'd done in a short space of time. My head didn't grow, but my list of things to do is now twice the size! One thing I was asked about was something I assumed was common knowledge, but apparently is not - because the person I met with is supposed to know everything about what I do and didn't know this! So it seems that I should mention it publicly again because I don't make a big enough deal of it...

Registered charity: 1097940/SC038092 | Company: 4764232

Some of the proceeds of sales of Meet The Poo's and Peter Poo to the Rescue are being donated to Action For Children, an amazing charity that has been supporting the most vulnerable and neglected children for over 140 years.

So with every book I sell it is hoped that several children will receive help. The child that reads the book and any children that benefit from money collected by Action For Children.

Please share this so that I can tell the person I met with this morning that the entire planet is aware!

PS Did I mention that some of the proceeds of sales of Meet The Poo's and Peter Poo to the Rescue are being donated to Action For Children, an amazing charity that has been supporting the most vulnerable and neglected children for over 140 years...

Goodreads, bad error...

So I'm sat up checking the World Wide Web for little old me and my books, and I stumble across goodreads.com. I'm quite excited to see one of my books has finally been listed - Meet The Poo's. I'm thrilled. I smile. I frown, my mouth drops open and I stop breathing... It's apparently been written by somebody else, not me!!! That's right. American author and radio personality Chris Fabry has somehow claimed my book! I'm sure it's an Internet Gremlin, but I've still sent quite a polite but potentially annoyed email to him. Of course, no matter how this turns out, I've pushed him a little to mention the book on his radio show - never miss an opportunity! 

We've now had quite a decent conversation, he seems like a nice chap. Of course, if this ends with me not getting air time, I'll hate him.

They love Poo in the USA!

I just checked on the Amazon charts to see how my little Poos were going, and Meet The Poo's is now in the top 100 best sellers for toilet training - at number 8 on Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/gp/bestsellers/digital-text/157612011/ref=pd_zg_hrsr_kstore_1_7_last

Author friends I've made

I had a nice chat with an excellent Crime/Thriller novelist from "up North" last night called Debbie Bennett. She was really friendly and helpful, and if you're reading this Debbie - thank you for all of your help and advice. I think our books are very similar. Your books have plots, mine have plops. Your books have crime, mine have grime. Your books have thrill, my books have spill. The list is endless, although my patience isn't, so I'll quit it here. I'm working on her to make me into a villain in her next book. Debbie?..

Another friend I've made in this amazing field of work is Fantasy writer Anthony Lavisher. He lives very near to me and due to busy lifestyles we are still to meet in person. He's also been really helpful and friendly and probably doesn't realise how much he's driven me on at moments of "can I really do this" that do occur from time to time. I hope to meet him soon and let him by me dinner and a pint. Hi Anthony :-)

I've also made quite a few friends on Facebook, but not as myself. My personal profile is totally hidden and is saved for friends and family. I have a Facebook Page, one for the Meet The Poo's books and another one for Peter Poo... One of my characters, in fact the main character and hero of each of the Poo stories to date, is called Peter Poo. He's the shy Poo that creeps out of the Bottom Doors to check if the Toilet Swimming Pool is in sight, often peering out too far and getting squished. His parents, Mummy and Daddy Poo, allowed him to have his own Facebook account. So now there's a little Poo loose on Facebook and fame's gone straight to his head. He was quite happy with his life stories being sold at a decent price. It afforded him new shoes, the latest fashion, top of the range electronic devices and the latest games. I decided to offer his books on Amazon for 99p, and he hit the fan. Now he's decided to form the Poofragettes, fighting against Pooism. The powers that be at Facebook decided that Poo wasn't a real surname, so he chose the pseudonym of Peter Pooterson. And add him as a friend and I'm sure he'll have you on his side fighting for Pooman rights.

Don't you hate that moment when you reach out for your cup of tea to find you've already finished it, but with no recollection whatsoever of drinking any of it? 

I just did that. 

What an idiot.

My own blog

Hey there. I'm Rob Renée, a children's author living in South Wales, UK. You can find more information about me on my Facebook page "Rob Renée Children's Author". My slogan is:

Books for kids from 2 to 92 - NEVER grow up!

I like to live by that, even to the annoyance of people around me. I can be quite opinionated, but I try to tackle some PC issues delicately to avoid hate mail and subsequent death threats! This blog is not for my audience of children. No no. It is for the parents and the older book readers who, like me, like retaining some of their childhood/teenage immaturity, naughtiness and slightly evil mindedness. If you are like that, we're going to get on just fine... If you're not, you probably better bugger off right now!

I'm just setting this Blog up, so I'll be back soon to share my opinions and say things how I see them. I might add in a bit of my own humour and advertise some of my books as well. Did I mention I wrote books? I'll make sure as time goes on that you'll all be aware then, just to make sure!

Ciao mein